in el dorado you're gold
by ashleyt
Summary: It would be easier if life came with a manual.


Note: There's slight Bonnie/Jeremy in this if that's not your thing.

* * *

It's a bittersweet goodbye.

Tears falling as her heart breaks and yet she is alive. More alive than she's ever been. There's not much else to do but to call it even. After all, they both get to live this time.

Bonnie watches him as everyone files away from Elena's body, they're saying good bye or see you later and it all feels like a funeral. Heavy as a rainy day and just as wet. Bonnie thinks this curse business has put the final axe on a chapter in their lives. But without their sun they need to find a way to live in the shade. And she's not quite sure what that means for her.

"Can we talk?" Jeremy's brown eyes meet hers as clear and open as she remembers. Her fingers twitch to touch him, she breathes out instead.

"Sure, let's go"

They walk away from the past and she wonders briefly if he notices that she's no longer there.

They go outside pretending that they have privacy, though if they should have gone farther. With vampires as friends it's hard to keep things just between them.

"You look pretty" His hand slides up and down her arm causing goosebumps to follow in his wake.

She smiles, "You don't look so bad yourself Jer".

"I got your message, I – I just-"

"Didn't want to come back to see me?"

There's no guilt when he nods. She remembers how she hurt him, how much he hurt her and it stings that he saved her but couldn't wait for her. Bonnie wonders if he knew all along that if she could come back, it wasn't going to be for him.

"Jer"

His hand stops but he grabs her wrist and grins. "Bonnie, you said goodbye. I didn't think there anything left to say"

"But you didn't get to say it" She's perceptive enough to know that that is what this about. There's no warm embrace or hot open mouth kisses here, not anymore. Jeremy and her relationship had been over the moment she was engulfed in that bright light, a resurrection would be detrimental to them both at this point.

He cradles her face before leaning in to kiss her softly. She sinks into his mouth, into the familiarity of first love. Into the gentle waves and sunny days that will always be associated with him.

"Goodbye Bonnie"

She dreams that night of Elena. In the morning she doesn't recall most of it but she can still hear a wisp of something dream Elena said at one point.

 _He can love more than one person. I did._

She's practically living in the Salvatore mansion now, though it's not like they should care with all the empty rooms. Most days she doesn't run into the brothers and her main point of conversation with Damon is via telephone. Their lives are starting again in the wake of their loss. But they're more or less shadows these days, ghosting along with their newfound routines.

In her brutally honest moments, Bonnie thinks that Elena stunted them with the overwhelming nature of _her_ and that's why it's so hard for them to find a path. It's as if those long, hard years cut at their life lines and they can't find a way to get back on track.

Damon laughs when she tells him over drinks later. They're hanging out in his room, well she's lounging on his soft black sheets while he irons his curtains, drinking to the dissonance of their existence.

"If that was true Bon than I guess that means we have another 60 years of this shit"

She frowns, feeling the satin brush against her skin as she rolls on his giant mattress. "At least you didn't take the cure. I, on the other hand, only have this one lovely life to live. And I don't have a fucking clue what to do with it Damon"

He puts the iron down, coming to sit on the bed. "We'll figure it out. Until then, just wing it" He grins with that last piece of advice.

Sitting up, she chugs her glass before sighing and sinking onto her back. Her eyes attempting to make sense out of his ceiling. "Wing it? Thanks, you're the best"

Grabbing, her glass to refill it, he's quiet as he goes to the dresser and comes back. Bonnie's eyes follow him, wondering if he ever believes the shit that comes out of his mouth. Not that she's malevolent about it, it's endearing that he cares and that he's trying to actually be a best friend.

"I told you I had the answer to all your prayers. You'll be fine"

"And when that fails me at least I still have magic, sex and alcohol"

That leads to more drinking until they're both singing and dancing to Real McCoy's _Another Night_ in the hallway. Stefan shakes his head as he comes out of his room to find out what's going on and leaves, probably on the way to woo Caroline some more.

Damon spins her around and around, the feeling electric blue as it spreads through her body. She pulls him closer, selfishly wanting more. His arms wrap around her accommodatingly and they burrow in each other. The need to touch is something they're both grappling with, she more than him if she's honest with herself.

Bonnie isn't used to the intensity of Damon Salvatore. Even when he hated her, she was more of an afterthought. But this is all of him and it's almost too much. Almost like a hurricane of blues crashing into her with a single glance. It is fury, lust, love, devotion and a hundred other unchecked emotions. She had never been the target of such unbridled emotions before and she's still trying to figure it out.

His mouth on her forehead, he whispers, "We'll figure it out"

She kisses him once. It shocks her, then him, then her again.

It's oddly gentle and warm for a kiss from the undead.

Bonnie pulls away and says, "Well at least that's out of the way" brushing past a startled Damon.

They don't talk about. Especially not the part where he kissed her back.

Damon, instead, seems to take this as a hint to outrageously flirt with her. Like last week when he made them all breakfast and proceeded to cut and feed Bonnie her vampcakes in front of everyone. She pressed heat into his fork and knife until he yelled out in pain, grinning as if he was unfazed by it. The twinkle in his eyes let her know that this wasn't over.

Yesterday he kept trying to hold her hand at The Grille as they ate with Stefan and Caroline in what Caroline had dubbed a _So Not A Double Date_. Leaving Bonnie no choice but to give him an aneurysm every time he touched her. She figured it would keep her sharp when the Heretics came back to Mystic Falls and stop Damon from whatever it was he trying to prove. Caroline and Stefan kept exchanging amused smiles as Damon yelped sporadically during their night.

Tonight was just, well it was annoying. All Bonnie wanted to was some me time with an orgasm and sleep but Damon wouldn't stop talking about some car parts he was looking for. She knew he could sense how frustrated she was, she'd been practically climbing the walls for two weeks since her last date. Still he kept at it and pouted whenever she made a move to leave.

"Damon, I love you"

Blue eyes brightened, "I love you too Bon Bon"

Gripping his shirt she pulled him close to her face, her face a menacing glow "But I need to go to my room. We can finish this later". She let go, rearranging his black shirt back into place and took off for her room. A gust of wind passed by her and she knew that Damon would be waiting for her.

She opened the door to him lying on her bed. He welcomed her into her room (it may have been his house but there was decorum to think of) with a come hither finger. Bonnie had no choice but to flop on her bed beside him.

"We're not doing this." She stated knowing full well why he was here. Damon has always been an open book. As time tumbled along his looks lingered too long, his touch became a caress and he was always around. Imposing but dependent. Comfortable but fierce. It's no wonder women loved being the centre of his world, it didn't matter how they felt because he could carry those emotions for the both of them.

"The way I see it, we have years and years to test whatever this thing is out. You die, Elena comes back to life and no one gets hurt."

Rolling to her side, Bonnie searched his face to see if he was joking or if he meant the harsh words. "What about you? Don't you stand to lose in all of this?"

His hand was warm on her chin, "Careful Bonnie, I'm starting to think you actually care".

Wet and hungry, her mouth lingers over his, "We wouldn't want that".


End file.
